13 Years and Running…In Praise of Group Life for Men

For a late night person, the 5:45 a.m. alarm in- trudes into my Friday morning with a rude buzz. I stumble out of bed, mostly still asleep, and make my way to the bathroom to shave, shower and dress. Most nights, I set my clothes aside so I do not wake my wife who usually sleeps until 7:00 or so. This has been my routine for about 12½ years, as I have been getting up nearly every Friday morning to meet with a small band of male friends to share our lives and our faith journey together.

The group started in early 1992 when a woman began a women’s Renovaré group based on Richard Foster’s Renovaré vision. She then encouraged her husband and several friends to meet together for dinner and consider starting a men’s Renovaré group. One of the common themes for these men was that each of them had been to a weekend ecumenical Cursillo retreat in the recent past.   Inspired by Sandy DeMaster’s vision, six men agreed to be- gin meeting together on Friday mornings at 6:30. In a very short while, four other men joined them and the group grew to 10.

Three men dropped out and two others joined shortly thereafter to make nine. Eventually, two men moved out of the area, and then two other men were invited to join, keeping the number at nine. One man did not last long… he was very conservative and unable to fl ex well with the group. As of this writing, eight men are still active members of the group.   Our group has been, and continues to be, populated by a diverse group of guys: an attorney, clinical social worker, retired engineer, civil engineer, welding shop owner, lumber mill shift supervisor, insurance salesman, marriage and fami- ly therapist, anesthesiologist, city planner, real estate broker, a few pastors, Catholic deacons, book edi- tor, and a pain management specialist. Though many of us were in our early 40s when we began this group, our current age range is 54 to 69. There are several Vietnam veterans, at least one former anti- war protestor, two Roman Catholics from different parishes, and several guys from a number of different Protestant churches.

In a recent article in The New Yorker magazine about Rick Warren’s successes in ministry, (The Cellular Church, by Malcolm Gladwell, September 12, 2005) the author stated that megachurches discovered the tremendous value of small groups to meet the needs of church growth and personal development. Gladwell reports, “The small group was an extraordinary vehicle of commitment. It was personal and flexible. It cost nothing. It was convenient, and every worshipper was able to find a small group that precisely matched his or her need.”  Small groups are a way for men to become close friends in a culture where it is so easy to be a friendless American male.

Robert Putnam (in Gladwell above) states that men in small groups become “… one another’s best friends. If one person wife gets breast cancer, he can go to the others for support. If someone loses a job, the others are there for him.”
In our many years together, we have been through numerous trials and tribulations: local priest and bishop sexual misconduct scandals; the death of one of our daughters at age 18; the death of a grandchild at four months of age; divorce of a member; the physical breakdown of a member from walking to full-time wheelchair use; divorce of an adult child; adult children who are not following in Christ’s footsteps and blowing it; dark conflicts with close friends; conflicts within our respective churches; cancer; heart attack and major depression; and various serious surgeries. We have also shared great joys and successes in one another’s lives: the marriages of our children; numerous births of grandchildren; remarriage; book publications; marital faithfulness; loving parenting; and so on.   Our group format consists of this: checking in, talking and laughing for 15 to 30 minutes, and then bringing everyone up-to-date on the events of the week. We then read a book by paragraph rotation and discuss the contents. We pray with, and for, each other in a “popcorn” style, then end with the Lord’s Prayer. During the life of this group, we have read the following books (fully or in part): Devotional Classics; Spiritual Classics; The Divine Conspiracy; The Life You Save May Be Your Own; a Promise Keepers’ book; Wild at Heart; and The Purpose Driven Life.   Our favorite resource has been Devotional Classics, by Richard Foster and Jim Smith. We have read and re-read this great work many times over the years, and each time it is fresh and new for us in the ongoing challenge of spiritual formation and Christian maturity.

What benefits do we notice from this gathering together each week? To begin, deep friendships have formed with a number of us. There is support during the trials of life, and deeply shared joy during the successes. There is a sense of accountability when we face one another each week. The transparency helps us know that each of us is vulnerable and in need of help—no man is an island.  Finally, I would encourage men everywhere to become part of a long-running support group. The readings, discussions, reactions and prayers are significant sources of encouragement in the day-to-day life as men living in the 21st century. As an antidote to the creeping isolation of island living, I can think of nothing better for the modern man.     Peter Mosgofian, M.A., LMFT, is Executive Director of The Redwood Family Institute, a multi-disciplinary Christian counseling agency in Eureka, California. He has been an AACC member for as many years as he has participated in this group. Peter also co-pastors the Arcata Vineyard Christian Community with Gale, his wife of 32 years.Take help from telephone psychologist.

Things to consider when living your life in retirement

The rising number of baby boomers will likely have a great impact on retirment living. As many of them near retirement, they will likely alter the definition of what it means to be retired. Many seniors today are seeking a more active lifestyle. Many of these people don’t really want to retire, and some will work part-time for the rest of their lives. Other seniors view retirement as being a time where they can enjoy hobbies and other things they are interested in.

To serve this large market, a number of destination retirement communities have been established. They are targeted towards seniors who want low living expenses, or who prefer to live in warm climates. For other seniors, living close to family members is very important. While they may want to move into a place that is smaller, they will not want to leave the comfort of the communities they live in. The goal of destination retirements is to create an environment where seniors and baby boomers can relax with a large number of amenities. These places will often be located near golf courses, spas, hiking trails, and fitness centers. These locations are designed so that those who live there can enjoy themselves.

The houses that are built in these communities will use materials that are easy to maintain, and they will be open and easy to access. Because the people living in the places will be older, it uses a design which will cater to them. Their lives will be easy because their bedrooms, kitchens, and bathrooms will be designed in a way that is easy for them to use. Destination retirement communities will change the definition of retirement. Because of the many luxuries they offer, they are an excellent choice for baby boomers who want to leave their homes.

Recent polls that have been taken indicate that over 60% of baby boomers said they were interested in moving into a retirement community, while over 50% said that they would like to move to a warmer climate. A large percentage also indicate that they plan to purchase a retirement home. Despite this, most of the people who took these polls also indicated that they won’t to stay close to their family members. The biggest goal of many baby boomers is to pursue interests that they never had time to pursue while they were younger. Over 60% of baby boomers said they would like to travel, while others want to spend time exercising.

But many baby boomers also admit that they would like to learn new skills or perform volunteer work. As the list of these people continues to grow, they will be looking for places which can suit their needs and interests. Destination retirement communities can allow seniors to enjoy life and pursue the many hobbies and tasks that they are interested in. Many of these people have worked long and hard for their entire lives, and will want to enjoy the things that they have obtained. Most retiring baby boomers will have large amounts of wealth, and will be looking for a large number of ways to enjoy it.

Emotional Problems in Later Life: Common issues in late life are retirement, divorce, widowhood, misuse of prescription drugs, suicide, and neglect

Getting old is no fun, the 83 year old told her daughter. Having lost her husband suddenly, the result of an aneurysm nine years earlier and currently recovering from a complicated spinal surgery, she expressed the sentiment of many elderly adults. We have all watched as our parents, grandparents, neighbors, or friends navigate their way through the minefields of aging, hoping to avoid the disruptive effects of physical, mental, and social deterioration. Aging has emerged as an area of concern worldwide. Life expectancy has increased, largely due to advances in medical science, improved health care, and improved nutrition. As a result, the elderly population has rapidly increased, bringing a growing consciousness of this distinct group to society.

The 60+ population increased 50.4% from 1960 to 1980 with projections of 57% from 1980 to 2000, and about 65% from 2000 to 2020.

 

This 60-year span from 1960 to 2020 has a projected increase of 410% while there will be only a 157% increase for the total population.1 The elderly are traditionally characterized in either a positive or a negative light. Some view the elderly as a source of wisdom, and they are respected, exerting influence in their families and in community life. Others see the elderly as dominated by major and irreversible losses, both physical and mental. Each view has demonstrable legitimacy. How individuals perceive old age is greatly influenced by how society as a whole views old age. The contrasting view of Asian cultures as opposed to our societies is evidence of these two views.

The idea that aging can be stressful is a prevalent notion. The aging process can be fraught with an endless list of physical problems that result from both normal and abnormal physiological changes. Physical deterioration is inevitable. Mental deterioration and memory impairment, while frequent in later life, may not be inevitable. Physical and mental problems can be devastating for aging adults and their families. In addition, older adults are faced with changes that constitute significant losses. Numerous adjustments are required of aging adults as they encounter: retirement with its altered daily schedule and economic decline; marital disruptions related to divorce and widowhood; changes in living arrangements; experiences of trauma related to abuse and neglect; confrontations about the misuse of alcohol and prescription drugs; and an inability to deal with the inner turmoil that can lead to suicide. This is not a complete list of problems faced by elders, but it is an indication that there are obstacles in the path of aging adults that impact their remaining years. Christian mental health professionals have the opportunity and obligation to minister to this segment of society and bring a measure of comfort, healing, and blessing.

Retirement

Retirement, in most cases is a onetime event. Retirees reactions to retirement may vary from delight to dread but typically involve moving through stages, according to Atchey.2 These stages are not fixed and are not necessarily experienced in sequence or in total.

1. Pre-retirement stageanticipation of impending separation from

employment.

2. Honeymoon stagea joyful phase of fulfilling old wishes and exploring

new things.

3. Immediate retirement routine stagea phase for those who made advance plans and now can organize their lives into activity patterns.

4. Rest and relaxation stagea time of respite often followed by boredom

and, for some, an attempt to reinstate some of the previous

lifestyle.

5. Disenchantment stagein some cases, this stage can deteriorate into depression.

6. Reorientation stagea search for more realistic and appropriate life

choices.

7. Routine stageselecting and committing to a new set of more satisfying patterns of activities.

8. Termination stageretiree either reenters the work force, becomes involved in new interests, or experiences poor health and chronic impairments that preclude other choices. Retirement can be viewed as an achievement, an accomplishment. The retiree has completed a major phase of life and now can enjoy the fruits of the labor. For those who have developed interests and hobbies, this is a welcomed time of life. But for others, who have lived to work, this may be a time of difficult adjustment. For some, retirement represents more than just a cessation of work. It may represent relinquishing of power, control, and/or authority. The sense of accomplishment is lost as is the security of a daily routine.<!–[if gte mso 9]><xml> Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE </xml><![endif]–><!–[if gte mso 9]><xml> </xml><![endif]–> <!– /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:”Cambria Math”; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:”"; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:”Calibri”,”sans-serif”; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {mso-style-priority:99; color:blue; mso-themecolor:hyperlink; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; color:purple; mso-themecolor:followedhyperlink; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} span.apple-style-span {mso-style-name:apple-style-span; mso-style-unhide:no;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} –> <!–[if gte mso 10]> <! /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:”Table Normal”; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:”"; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:”Calibri”,”sans-serif”; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} –> <!–[endif]–> Take help from internet counseing.

For those whose life was their work, there can be a loss of identity. Even in the best of circumstances, retirement requires some adjustment and problems may emerge. Marital problems develop when couples have difficulty adjusting to changes in their roles or to different lifestyles. Most couples have evolved into specific roles and division of labor. Retirement may disrupt this structure. Isolation can result for those whose social life revolved around time spent with co-workers and who never developed a circle of friends outside the workplace. If retirement is accompanied by the decision to sell the marital home and relocate, the adjustment can be more difficult. Moving to another state, away from support systems in the neighborhood, the church, and the community, can result in times of loneliness and isolation. Older adults tend to find comfort and security in familiar surroundings.

Financial concerns are a major issue when facing retirement. Most people have not been able to arrange their retirement income to maintain the same standard of living experienced during the employed years. Incomes are usually fixed and are only a portion of the previous income. Social Security alone is well below poverty level. Adjusting to a reduced income can result in stress and worry about the financial stability of the future. Plans for a wonderful retirement may not be realized. Adjustment to retirement is not automatic. Retirement means change, whether welcomed or dreaded. Counselors can help the process along by being aware of the impact of this major life transition and can facilitate the adjustment by offering realistic suggestions for problem solving. For example, retirees have much to offer, and serving as a volunteer can enhance ones self-image and fulfill the need to be needed.

Late Life Divorce and Widowhood

Marriages are dissolved in two ways: by death or divorce. Either way, the loss is painful. Divorce is a time of crisis and one of lifes most stressful events. It is often compared to the death of ones spouse, especially with regard to the emotional impact and the need to reorganize ones life. Divorce in late life is especially difficult and profoundly affects the quality of life for the elderly. It tears apart a relationship that has existed for many years and forces both parties into new lifestyles that bring changes in every facet of everyday life.

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eCounseling.com is the only online counseling help website that allows clients and counselors to connect online – with no software to download or cumbersome technology!  It seeks to be an excellent information resource for consumers, and to connect prospective counseling clients to counseling professionals 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year. Its director is himself trained professional Dr. Anthony Centore.

Emotional Problems in Later Life: Common issues in late life are retirement, divorce, widowhood, misues of prescription drugs, suicide, and neglect

Getting old is no fun, the 83 year old told her daughter. Having lost her husband suddenly, the result of an aneurysm nine years earlier and currently recovering from a complicated spinal surgery, she expressed the sentiment of many elderly adults. We have all watched as our parents, grandparents, neighbors, or friends navigate their way through the minefields of aging, hoping to avoid the disruptive effects of physical, mental, and social deterioration. Aging has emerged as an area of concern worldwide. Life expectancy has increased, largely due to advances in medical science, improved health care, and improved nutrition. As a result, the elderly population has rapidly increased, bringing a growing consciousness of this distinct group to society. The 60+ population increased 50.4% from 1960 to 1980 with projections of 57% from 1980 to 2000, and about 65% from 2000 to 2020. This 60-year span from 1960 to 2020 has a projected increase of 410% while there will be only a 157% increase for the total population.

1 The elderly are traditionally characterized in either a positive or a negative light. Some view the elderly as a source of wisdom, and they are respected, exerting influence in their families and in community life. Others see the elderly as dominated by major and irreversible losses, both physical and mental. Each view has demonstrable legitimacy. How individuals perceive old age is greatly influenced by how society as a whole views old age. The contrasting view of Asian cultures as opposed to our society is evidence of these two views.

 

The idea that aging can be stressful is a prevalent notion. The aging process can be fraught with an endless list of physical problems that result from both normal and abnormal physiological changes. Physical deterioration is inevitable. Mental deterioration and memory impairment, while frequent in later life, may not be inevitable. Physical and mental problems can be devastating for aging adults and their families. In addition, older adults are faced with changes that constitute significant losses. Numerous adjustments are required of aging adults as they encounter: retirement with its altered daily schedule and economic decline; marital disruptions related to divorce and widowhood; changes in living arrangements; experiences of trauma related to abuse and neglect; confrontations about the misuse of alcohol and prescription drugs; and an inability to deal with the inner turmoil that can lead to suicide. This is not a complete list of problems faced by elders, but it is an indication that there are obstacles in the path of aging adults that impact their remaining years. Christian mental health professionals have the opportunity and obligation to minister to this segment of society and bring a measure of comfort, healing, and blessing.

 

*Retirement*

Retirement, in most cases is a onetime event. Retirees reactions to retirement may vary from delight to dread but typically involve moving through stages, according to Atchey.2 These stages are not fixed and are not necessarily experienced in sequence or in total.

 

1. Pre-retirement stage anticipation of impending separation from employment.

2. Honeymoon stage a joyful phase of fulfilling old wishes and exploring new things.

3. Immediate retirement routine stage a phase for those who made advance plans and now can organize their lives into activity patterns.

4. Rest and relaxation stage a time of respite often followed by boredom and, for some, an attempt to reinstate some of the previous lifestyle.

5. Disenchantment stage in some cases, this stage can deteriorate into depression.

6. Reorientation stage a search for more realistic and appropriate life choices.

7. Routine stage selecting and committing to a new set of more satisfying patterns of activities.

 

8. Termination stage retiree either reenters the work force, becomes involved in new interests, or experience poor health and chronic impairments that preclude other choices. Retirement can be viewed as an achievement, an accomplishment. The retiree has completed a major phase of life and now can enjoy the fruits of the labor. For those who have developed interests and hobbies, this is a welcomed time of life. But for others, who have lived to work, this may be a time of difficult adjustment. For some, retirement represents more than just a cessation of work. It may represent relinquishing of power, control, and/or authority. The sense of accomplishment is lost as is the security of a daily routine. For those whose life was their work, there can be a loss of identity. Even in the best of circumstances, retirement requires some adjustment and problems may emerge. Marital problems develop when couples have difficulty adjusting to changes in their roles or to different lifestyles. Most couples have evolved into specific roles and division of labor.

Retirement may disrupt this structure. Isolation can result for those whose social life revolved around time spent with co-workers and who never developed a circle of friends outside the workplace. If retirement is accompanied by the decision to sell the marital home and relocate, the adjustment can be more difficult. Moving to another state, away from support systems in the neighborhood, the church, and the community, can result in times of loneliness and isolation. Older adults tend to find comfort and security in familiar surroundings. Financial concerns are a major issue when facing retirement. Most people have not been able to arrange their retirement income to maintain the same standard of living experienced

during the employed years. Incomes are usually fixed and are only a portion of the previous income. Social Security alone is well below poverty level. Adjusting to a reduced income can result in stress and worry about the financial stability of the future. Plans for a wonderful retirement may not be realized. Adjustment to retirement is not automatic. Retirement means change, whether welcomed or dreaded. Counselors can help the process along by being aware of the impact of this major life transition and can facilitate the adjustment by offering realistic suggestions for problem solving. For example, retirees have much to offer, and serving as a volunteer can enhance ones self-image and fulfill the need to be needed.

 

 

 

*Late Life Divorce and Widowhood*

Marriages are dissolved in two ways: by death or divorce. Either way, the loss is painful. Divorce is a time of crisis and one of life’s most stressful events. It is often compared to the death of ones spouse, especially with regard to the emotional impact and the need to reorganize ones life. Divorce in late life is especially difficult and profoundly affects the quality of life for the elderly. It tears apart a relationship that has existed for many years and forces both parties into new lifestyles that bring changes in every facet of everyday life. Although both men and women experience difficulties as a result of divorce, women are especially impacted. In her 10-year longitudinal study on divorce adjustment, Judith Wallerste in found that the economic, social, and emotional status of older women was distinctly different from that of the other subjects.3 Older women faced worse economic troubles as their incomes declined significantly. They experienced more widespread anxiety and loneliness, decreased involvement in interpersonal relationships, and none of the older women remarried.

The differences between older women and all other subjects was striking and sobering. This does not suggest that older men do not suffer economic, social, and emotional consequences. They experience the same difficulties that older women do; however, they tend to remarry at a much higher rate than older women do. As age increases, the opportunity for women Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not  merely given back given back with bonus and blessing. Luke 6:38

 

(The Message, E.H. Peterson translation)to remarry decreases greatly because they outnumber men. Currently, older women outnumber older men in every state in the United States except Alaska where the ratio is equal. Loss of a marriage impacts the quality of life and requires changes in ones lifestyle, but there are significant differences between divorce and widowhood. Those who have lost a spouse through death are afforded a parting ritual (funeral) and an extended period of time to grieve. The divorced are expected to get on with life. Sympathy and compassion are not equally distributed between the two situations. Death generously allows the widow the comfort of remembering the good times, while divorce tends to flood the memory with the bad times. The widowed have pictures to remind them of past joys with their spouses; the divorced often must still encounter the ex-spouse and re-experience the anger and pain. Economically, widowed and divorced older adults have a lower standard of living. And the older woman may be plunged to poverty level.

For the widow, there is often a downward adjustment on the pension and social security that results in income somewhat less than when the husband was alive. For the divorcee, access to the former husbands pension is usually denied, and the ex-wife has only her Social Security and any settlement awarded by the court. For women who have not participated in the workforce, Social Security is meager. Most older divorced women and many widows experience a severe decline in economic status. Socially and emotionally, divorced and widowed older adults must reorganize their support networks. The divorced may lose support from the ex-spouses family and from friends shared during the marriage. Widows are more likely to maintain some support from extended family and shared friends. The support that follows a divorce or the death of a spouse tends to diminish over time, leaving the older adult vulnerable to loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and depression. Connecting with others and developing new support networks facilitates the adjustment to the single lifestyle. At a time in their lives when they anticipated that life’s demands would

decrease, the widowed and divorced are faced with life’s most demanding transition.

 

 

*Suicide and the Elderly*

The suicide rate in most countries is higher for older adults than for any other age group. In the United States, suicide in the 65+ group is twice the rate of the rest of the population, with older males at highest risk. Although women attempt suicide three times more often than men, they are less successful than men, who typically choose more lethal means like firearms. Older adults commit approximately 20- 25% of all suicides.4 The risk factors for suicide among older adults are numerous. Depression is, of course, a major predictor for suicide and is generally correlated with significant changes in the aging adults life. The deterioration of physical health, cognitive dysfunction, stressful life events, substance abuse, relationship problems, bereavement, and genetic predisposition are contributors to later life depression. Suicide is most likely a response to the panorama of life’s circumstances rather than to a single factor or incident. Older adults commit suicide with

 

less warning than younger adults and are less likely to express suicidal intent. Previous attempts are significant predictors, but for men who tend to be very successful, this predictor may rarely appear. Treatment for the suicidal older adult may be difficult because the elderly (especially men) generally do not seek mental health services. Identification of suicidal older adults by others who have contact with the potential victims is essential. Because most elderly suicide victims have visited their primary care physician in the month prior to their suicide, recognition and treatment of depression in the medical setting is a promising way to prevent elderly suicide.5 Psychiatric hospitalization can provide an opportunity to involve suicidal older adults in therapy. A hospitalized patient who fit the high-risk profile was referred to me for therapy. He was an over-65 male who had lost his farm and his wife, had stopped going to church, had become a heavy drinker, and exhibited warning signs for potential suicide. Helping him reconnect with his previous spiritual foundation brought a fresh awareness of Gods love and opened the door for developing a treatment plan.

 

*Misuse of Alcohol and Prescription Drugs*

Alcohol and prescription drug misuse affect over 17% of the 60+ population. Substance abuse lowers the quality of life at any age, and it can have a devastating impact on the lives of older adults. Older adults consume alcohol for some of the same reasons younger adults use alcohol to numb psychological or physical pain. Several studies have indicated that about one third of alcoholism among the elderly began after entering later life. This suggests that a significant group  of older adults had alcohol problems prior to entering the last third of their lives. Late onset occurs more frequently with women; men more

commonly were drinking at an earlier age. Alcohol consumption tends to decrease over the life span; older adults drink less than their younger counterparts, but the drinking patterns are similar for all age groups.

 

The effects of alcohol on older adults differ from younger adults. Due to the aging process, tolerance for alcohol decreases with age. Health problems, social problems with family and friends, grief and loss, and mental problems exacerbate drinking patterns or are factors in late onset alcohol abuse. A significant danger exists when alcohol and prescription drugs are mixed. The ability of the aging liver to metabolize alcohol and medications is a concern. Accidental overdose can occur. Whereas older men are at greater risk for alcohol abuse, older women are at greater risk for the misuse of prescription drugs.

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse reports that 2.8 million women over age 60 are addicted to psychoactive prescription drugs. Older women are more likely to visit family physicians and receive prescriptions, especially for psychoactive drugs. Although older adults make up about 15% of the general population, they consume 2535% of prescription drugs and a disproportionate amount of over-the-counter drugs.6 Misuse of prescription drugs can occur when the elderly patient does not understand the directions for the medication, forgets to take the medication, or accidentally or deliberately takes extra doses. The elderly experience numerous physical and emotional problems that require medications, such as chronic pain, insomnia, anxiety, depression, cardiovascular problems, and respiratory problems. Drug dependence and drug interactions are a major concern for the elderly.

The aging body typically has a decreased ability to clear the system of drugs, leaving the older adult at risk for overdose or serious side effects. The same medication that is a blessing can also be a curse. Treatment for alcohol problems and the misuse of medications varies according to theoretical orientation. The counselor s belief regarding the etiology of alcohol dependence (disease or dysfunction) will inform the choice of treatment. Engaging the older adult in treatment may be difficult and may require the assistance of family and friends. Unfortunately, most alcohol treatment programs are designed for younger populations and seldom address the unique problems of the elderly.

Treatment for the misuse of prescription drugs commonly begins with an intervention.7 Interested persons express their concern for the one who is abusing drugs, explain

how the problem has affected their relationships, and encourage the person to seek professional help. This method (also used with alcohol related problems) addresses the denial that is typically present. The prescribing physician is often unfairly blamed for the problem (Well, he’s the one who got this started by giving the prescription). In some cases, physicians do contribute to the problem and need to be included in the solution. Having a significant person go to the doctor with the older patient can be helpful for understanding directions for medications. Also keeping a list of all medications for the physician to review can aid in correlating the drugs. There are containers specifically designed for organizing medications by the week and indicating the day and time to take the medication. As is the case with alcohol abuse, there are few drug treatment facilities that accommodate the elderly. Hospitalization is an alternative; however, managed care generally does not pay for the treatment.

 

 

 

*Abuse and Neglect of the Elderly*

Elder abuse is generally divided into four broad categories (physical, psychological, financial, and neglect), and the definition of abuse usually depends on intent, severity, intensity, and frequency. Currently, only four prevalence studies have been cited in the literature and the results are considered an underestimate of the worldwide occurrence of abuse.8 One of these studies9 surveyed over 2000 non-institutionalized elders in the United States and found that: The prevalence of elder abuse ranged from 4% to 10% of those 65 years and older; abuse was perpetrated more often by spouses (58%) than adult children (24%); victims were equally divided between men and women; and neither economic status nor age were related to risk factors.

 

According to Wolf, the risk factors include: the abusers dependence on the victim (i.e., financial support); the psychological state of the abuser (i.e., mental health, substance abuse); the physical and cognitive state of the victim (i.e., frailty, memory deficiency); and family social isolation (i.e., housebound).10 Although empirical studies are lacking with regards to the consequences of abuse and neglect, Wolf reports that depression, learned helplessness, alienation, guilt, distrust, withdrawal, fear, shame, and post-traumatic stress disorder appear to be responses to abuse. Similar to the victims of domestic violence and child abuse, the elderly tend to hide or minimize the abuse, fearing abandonment and rejection. Interventions for elder victims of maltreatment vary according to the individual case, from crisis intervention strategies to treatment of longer duration. Of course, the primary goal is to end the abuse. Counselors need to explore the elders view of the abusive situation, keeping in mind the fear of abandonment and rejection experienced by most victims.

 

*Conclusion*

As Christians, we are instructed to minister to the hurting and wounded that we encounter in our society. As Christian counselors, we have no less of an obligation. The elderly are a segment of society that is often neglected and ignored by the professional world. As we become aware of the numerous problems the elderly face, we have the opportunity to bring help and healing. Christian Counselor is always available to help you out.

One of my students recently told me that I need to help her overcome her resistance to working with the elderly. She is aware of her responsibility to minister to her clients but has not developed a willingness to open her heart to aging adults. As I have talked and listened to others, I realize that there are many who share her view. This may be the result of living in a society that does not value the aged, or it may be an inability to face ones impending entrance into this dimension of life. There is an open field for harvest and an opportunity to minister to those in the final phase of life. Web counselor plays a vital role for the welfare of society.

Seniors And Social Life – Where To Find Friends

To determine whether a senior is socially isolated or enjoys an active social life, we must first see where the senior resides, the organizations the senior belongs to and the activities she participates in.

Retirement Communities – Seniors residing in retirement communities can participate in a wide range of community organized activities that can help minimize isolation.

Apartments with gyms – Seniors living in apartments with gyms can exercise regularly and get to know the neighbors while doing so.

Golf or Tennis Clubs – Some golf clubs and tennis clubs provide these elder people with a social network as well as the opportunity to exercise.

Groups based on common interests – Some seniors enjoy meeting with others who share common interests such as gardening, knitting, sewing, discussing foreign policy, writing etc.

Are you a socially isolated senior citizen? Want social connections but don\’t know where to start? Here are some suggestions:

·         One can visit to the local senior center, where they offer lectures, classes and meals.

·         The local library is a wonderful meeting point for the seniors. The local library can provide book discussion groups as well as lectures and concerts.

·         Some local colleges and universities have special classes, concerts or other social activities for seniors. If seniors attend such classes, their minds will be occupied and they will not feel any sort of isolation from the society.

·         The local YMCA has movement classes for seniors.

·         One of the safest places where a senior member can engage himself are the health clubs. These health clubs have exercise and yoga classes for seniors.

·         Many civic, medical, educational and arts organizations look for volunteers. Senior members can act as volunteers to these organizations where they can meet a lot of like-minded people.

·         Affinity groups such as organizations or clubs for guitar players, singers, environmentalists, theatre actors can help the senior members to increase their social interactions.

·         The senior members can act as volunteers for churches, mosques, synagogues or any other religious organizations that offer adult education.

·         Widowed or divorced seniors who want companionship could consider online dating, which has connected more than one happy older couple. But don\’t always believe what you read in a profile. And it is helpful to follow your instincts — if something about the person doesn\’t feel right, don\’t pursue it.

It\’s never too late to get socially connected. Social interactions help with physical health as well. People with social connections tend to stay healthier. In home companion care is another great option for senior care, but both the persons are confided in a home, which prevents from any social interactions.

Adults in Later Life With Mental Health Problems

Most older people do not develop mental health problems, but a significant minority have dementia or experience problems such as depression.

Introduction

It is estimated that 18% of the general population in the UK are of pensionable age and that this figure will grow to 20% by 2025. As a society, we tend to assume that older people will develop mental health problems as a ‘normal’ aspect of ageing. Most older people do not develop mental health problems, although a significant minority does. For example:

about 25% of people over 85 have dementia.
between 10-15% of people over 65 have depression
between 4-23% of older adults seen by medical staff have an alcohol problem.

In addition to those older people who have an identifiable mental illness such as dementia, there are many who experience psychological or emotional distress associated with isolation, loneliness or loss. These problems are not recorded by the health or medical care system.

What problems affect people in later life?

Dementia

Dementia is a decline in mental ability which affects memory, thinking, problem solving, concentration, perception and behaviour. Some forms of dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease, are degenerative. That is, they get worse over time. Other forms of dementia, such as vascular dementia, may be non-degenerative. That is, they may not get worse over time.

People with dementia can become confused. Some people also become restless or display repetitive behaviour. They may also seem irritable, tearful or agitated. This can be very distressing for both the person with dementia and their family and friends. Some people with dementia also develop other problems such as depression, disturbed sleep, aggression, inappropriate sexual behaviour and incontinence, although the latter issues tend to be associated with more advanced dementia.

About one in 20 people over the age of 65 are affected by dementia and this figure rises to one in four people over the age of 85 (Audit Commission, 2000). People under the age of 65 can develop dementia but this is rare and is known as early onset or pre-senile dementia.

What causes dementia?

Dementia occurs as a result of the death of brain cells or damage in parts of the brain that deal with our thought processes and functioning. The most common form of dementia is Alzheimer’s disease. We do not know what causes Alzheimer’s disease but we do know that ageing is the biggest risk factor. The second most common type of dementia is vascular or multi-infarct dementia. This occurs as a result of a series of mini-strokes which constrict blood flow and oxygen to the brain.

Can dementia be prevented and is there a cure?

Most types of dementia cannot be cured but a number of psychological treatments and anti-dementia drugs can be very effective for those in the early stages of dementia. It is therefore very important to get a proper assessment of cognitive function from a medical practitioner as early as possible.

There are no guaranteed ways of preventing dementia, but you may find it helpful to follow a sensible diet and pursue a healthy lifestyle. Regular physical exercise and supplements like Gingko Biloba can help to ensure that there is always a good supply of blood to the brain. Please consult your GP before taking such medication. You can also help yourself by keeping your mind active, for example by doing crosswords or puzzles.

Depression

Depression describes a range of moods, from feeling a bit low to a severe problem, which interferes with everyday life and normal functioning. People with severe depression may experience a range of symptoms including low mood, loss of interest and pleasure as well as feelings of worthlessness or guilt.

Depression can affect anyone, of any culture, age or background but it affects proportionally more older people than any other age group. It is estimated that around 10-15% of elderly people in the community exhibit depressive symptoms, with this proportion rising to about 40% of care home residents. That said, you will not necessarily become depressed just because you are getting older.

What causes depression?

There are a number of risk factors that play a role in increasing older people’s vulnerability to depression including:

being widowed, divorced or retired
neurobiological changes associated with ageing
use of medication for other conditions
greater physical impairment and disease
loneliness and isolation
genetic susceptibility, which increases with age.

Can depression be prevented and is there a cure?

Depression in later life is a widely under recognised and under treated medical condition. Up until recently many health professionals – including GP’s – failed to offer the treatments and supports available to other age groups. Most forms of depression can be treated, using medication, talking treatments or other strategies.

It is can be difficult to diagnose depression in older people because it often occurs alongside other mental and physical illnesses, such as dementia, stroke, diabetes and cancer. In addition many older people do not seek help from their GP until they have a number of symptoms. As with dementia, it is important to seek help as early as possible.

Self-help strategies that can help reduce the risk of depression include:

taking regular exercise
planning for critical transitions such as retirement
seeking support from family and friends following the loss of a long-term partner
ensuring that you pursue a range of interests in later life.

Dementia and depression

The relationship between dementia and depression is complex. The symptoms of dementia and depression – including withdrawal from social activities and general apathy – are very similar. An elderly person with severe depression may occasionally be misdiagnosed as having dementia. A person with dementia may also become depressed.

Alcohol abuse

It is estimated that between 4%-23% of older adults seen by medical staff experience problems with alcohol. Figures also show that older men are currently between two and six times more likely than older women to be at risk of abusing alcohol.

Although alcohol abuse is a problem for people of all ages, it is more likely to go unrecognised among older people. Many older people use alcohol to deal with loss or loneliness. Approximately 10-30% of older people who abuse alcohol become depressed. They are also at greater risk of suicide.

Medication

Prescribed medications can cause mental health difficulties among older people. A 2001 Department of Health survey found that 79% of older people take prescribed medicines. Many older people take four or more medications at the same time. There are risks associated with taking multiple medications, including confusion.

More detailed information about medication and mental health problems can be found at the following sites:

Other mental health problems

There are a number of rarer mental health problems that affect older people, including delirium, anxiety and late-onset schizophrenia. The prevalence, nature, and course of these disorders are different in older people, as are the treatments that may be offered.

Capacity and older people with mental illness

People with dementia or severe mental illness may have difficulty in making and communicating decisions. Very few people are unable to be involved in making choices at all but some may have partial or fluctuating mental capacity and may need help with communication. Different approaches are also required to engage a person with dementia. They often need longer to make decisions, may need an advocate to speak on their behalf and their mental functioning may also vary by day, and time of day. Family members or carers are often useful sources of information but it is important to take account of the views of the person with dementia alongside those of their carer.

Help for carers

Caring for an older person with mental health problems can be very stressful, time consuming and emotionally and physically challenging. Caring for an older person with dementia is associated with higher levels of stress, with a third of carers suffering from depression.

For free advice on depression or a free consultation visit http://www.clairehegarty.co.uk or ring 0151 678 3358 or 07714853524

Visit http://www.in2town.co.uk for all the latest health news and advice

Senior Citizen Emergency Alert: A Good Medical Alarm Device Can Save Your Life

Any senior who is living alone, can help avoid a potential medical disaster by simply using a good medical senior alarm. An easy to use device that can summon the help you need , when you need it.

As any one knows, it’s impossible to predict if and when an accident or sudden illness can happen. Live alone seniors are particularly vulnerable.

One third of seniors ages 65 and older will fall every year and many of them will not be able to get up by themselves and will have to have help. How do they get that help? Usually, be telephone. Calling a relative, friend, or 911. What happens though, if the telephone cannot be reached? You then have a critical situation.

If you are a senior living alone, you might enjoy the freedom and independence that you have. You’re also aware that you are more at risk in case of an accident or illness. There is no one readily available for immediate help. So, what is the solution?

It’s pretty simple, really. A reliable senior citizen alert system is always there for you when you need it. A push of a button connects you with a trained professional within seconds and you have voice contact with a real person who can get the help you need and do it quickly.

There are many different senior emergency alarm systems available to you. And, as you might expect, there are many choices for price and features.

It’s a good idea to stay away from the cheap ones. Most of those offer minimal protection at best and are unable to give you the protection you need. What about the other end of the spectrum as far as price goes? Some systems may give you adequate protection, but are very overpriced. No need to go there either.

You can get all the protection you need, for the peace of mind you desire and at a very fair price.

You want to choose an established company that’s been in business long enough to give the best service in all areas.

Your senior medical alert specialist needs to be well trained and should be an employee of the company. The company should own their monitoring center. This allows for supervision and complete training of the Care Specialists- the people who will take your call. Very few companies have their own monitoring centers. Most of them outsource this important function to 3rd party companies.

Make sure that any service agreement with the company is clearly spelled out. You may find yourself committed to a long-term contract and no way to cancel, if you decide you no longer need the service. You should have a month-to-month agreement with no cancellation penalty.

What about the equipment? Is it easy to setup? You should be able to set up your system within 5 minutes. No installation or shipping charges. If your unit should ever need repair or replacement, there should be no extra charge.

How do I use my senior emergency alert system? In case of a medical emergency, simply push the button on the unit. You can wear this as a necklace, wristband, or clip it to your belt. You are then connected to a trained specialist who will provide assistance. No need to be by a telephone.

A good medical alert system is a must-have for any senior living alone. Why take the chance without it?

Life With All The Luxuries In A Gated Community

Gated Communities, also popularly also known as gated retirement communities, basically have two main purposes. These generally provide security that lots of elderly people aim for, and they also provide a comfortable lifestyle for people with similar interests. However, do not even for a moment believe that only people in an advanced age live in these gated retirement communities. Truth is, there are other people as well, for example families with kids and also newly married couples. There are many people who come over only for the weekend, and then return all empowered and calm. Since the communities are based on some specific interest in many cases, like-minded people get often get captivated by these activities.

The trend of living in a gated community has become so well received in the US that, in accordance with reports, about 8 million people are living in these private gated communities at this time throughout the country. And the trend is continuing to build. Nevertheless, residing in Gated Communities is nothing new. This style of living has been in vogue since the 19th century, or maybe even earlier. However, at those times, just those who were really rich could enjoy something like this since the expenses were really steep.

There are many very fine gated community homes here where all the luxuries of a modern lifestyle can be found. Generally most of these private gated community homes are very near high-class, championship-style golf courses or within them.

Although properties located within these locations may cost much more when compared to others, people from many walks of life are still serious about living here. You can find almost every modern amenity here. You will find well maintained roads, manicured lawns, running tracks, pools, tennis courts, a club house, indoor games – you name it, and it is there. You’ll have your pick from various activities such as swimming, horseback riding, boating, tennis and more. Or you may decide to do nothing and just sit back and relax with the nature around you.

It does sound like buying a cart before you have got the horse, but if you view it commercially, then the idea seems just fine. In fact, this provides the builder with the opportunity to create everything – the structures and also the roads, all in relation to the primary golf course. A good option indeed!

The fact remains, today the Gated Communities are the best places you could live in the usa.

All The Luxuries Of Life In Gated Communities

Gated Communities, also popularly generally known as gated retirement communities, essentially have two major functions. They typically provide protection that numerous seniors desire for, and they also give a high quality lifestyle for people who have similar pursuits.

However, don’t even for a moment believe that only those in an advanced age stay in these gated retirement communities. Actually, there are other men and women also, like households with children and also newly married partners. There are many people who live there just for the weekend, and then return all focused and calm. Since the communities are based on some distinct interest oftentimes, like-minded people often get attracted by these things to do.

The popularity of living in a gated community happens to be so popular in the usa that, according to reports, about 8 million people are living in these personal gated communities at the moment all over the country. And the popularity is continuing to grow. Nevertheless, moving into Gated Communities is nothing different. This type of living has been in vogue ever since the 19th century,or maybe even before. However, at those times, just those who were truly wealthy could take pleasure in similar to this since the expenses were genuinely steep. But the good news is, these days, the costs have gone down by a good deal.

One genuinely envies the level of lifestyle these people live in these housing communities. Overlooking greenery as far as the eye could see, they do not suffer from air or sound pollution. There are some very fine gated community homes here where all the luxuries of a modern lifestyle can be found. Typically most of these private gated communities are very near high-class, championship-style golf courses or within them. Thus, you get the chance to play golf when you are staying here, if you are interested in the game.

The safety and level of privacy of those who reside here is the top goal, and to keep them properly protected there are armed safety guards. And they come armed with modern day safety gadgets.

Even though properties located within these spots may price much more compared to others, people from many walks of life are still keen on living here. This is often accounted to the greater quality of protection and also the high quality of living that is on offer. You can find almost every modern amenity here. You will find well maintained roads, manicured lawns, jogging tracks, pools, tennis courts, a club house, indoor games. You can have your pick from several hobbies such as swimming, horseback riding, boating, tennis and more. Or you may decide to do nothing and just sit back and relax with the nature surrounding you.

The the fact is, Gated Communities are among the best locations you could live in the united states.

Enjoy All The Luxuries Of Life At Gated Communities

Gated Communities that are often referred to also as gated retirement communities mainly serve two purposes. They provide luxurious living conditions for people with similar interests, and these places also offer the security that many want at an advanced age. In spite of saying this, it would be wrong to conclude that only those who are seniors come and stay in these gated retirement communities. Truth is, there are other people as well, such as families with kids and also newly married couples. In fact there are many who come over to stay just for the weekend here so that they can feel completely refreshed when they go back home.

And the trend is continuing to grow. Nevertheless, living in Gated Communities is nothing new. This trend has been popular since the 19th century, and there are those who feel that it began even earlier. The people who lived in these places in earlier times, however, had to be extremely rich, as the costs involved were very high. But fortunately, now the costs have dropped considerably.

One really envies the kind of lifestyle these people live in these real estate communities. There are trees and greenery everywhere, and they are free from any kind of sound or air pollution. The gated community homes to be found here have all the modern ammenities fit for a modern luxurious lifestyle. These private gated communities are generally located very near to championship-style golf courses or within them.

The security and privacy of those who stay here is the top priority, and to keep them well protected there are armed security guards. And they come armed with modern security gadgets.

And this is because of the better lifestyle and the security offered. Here you will have everything that you can think of – there are well maintained roads, manicured lawns, tracks for jogging, pools, tennis courts, a club house and several indoor games to choose from as well. There are many activities you can choose from such as swimming, horseback riding, boating, playing tennis and many more. Or you may decide to do nothing and just sit back and relax with the nature surrounding you.

It does sound like buying a cart before you have got the horse, but if you view it commercially, then the idea seems just fine. In fact, this will provide the developer with more options about locating the buildings, inner roads, parks and meadows in relation to the main golf course. That definitely is a good idea.

Thus, it seems that now, among all places to live in the US, Gated Communities rank very high.

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